When an airplane is crashing and the oxygen masks are deployed from the overhead compartments, passengers are instructed to first administer the oxygen mask to themselves before assisting loved ones around them.

Of all the titles we wear, the role of caretaker we take most seriously. So it’s no wonder that the airlines’ directive goes against our reasoning. Our instinct tell us to instead save our loved ones first and then tend to our own needs. Whether caring for children, a spouse, or an elderly relative, we generally make great self sacrifices with the mindset that our loved ones will need the oxygen first, and we are stronger and can survive longer without it. We sacrifice our wellbeing because we believe it helps them.

In our attempt to protect those around us, we ironically do our loved ones AND ourselves a disservice when we help them first. It’s not selfish to put the mask on first. It is self preservation. If we can’t be at our best, the loved ones around us are left with our second best. Given their reliance on us to provide for them and protect them, our second best means that they suffer, too.

Sometimes being the hero means putting on the oxygen mask first. In terms of self care, this means allowing time for yourself when you feel overwhelmed, when you feel as if your flight is crashing. Practice mindfulness, read a book , take a walk, take a hot steaming shower or bath, sip a cup of coffee, walk aimlessly through Target with no one around you. Allow yourself silence. Allow yourself to breathe. Put the oxygen mask on yourself. Self care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.

Faith Based Wellness Advisor in New Hope, PA Be Well. Follow @